The complete Idiot’s Guide to Catch a Housefly

I have noticed that there are instruction manuals for just about anything these days. Some time back I had seen step by step instructions to boil a pot of water. Believe it or not, there were six steps listed out to boil a pot of water.

So I got inspired, and decided to come up with a comprehensive set of instructions to catch Musca domestica, our very own housefly. I am sure, all of us, with the exception of bubble boy I guess, have had the pleasure of finding a fly buzzing around our head, refusing to let go and would love the opportunity to get back.

So here's what you can do-

-The swat approach
1) Let the fly settle down, preferably on a horizontal surface.
2) Approach the fly cautiously; make sure that there are no sudden movements.
3) Position both of your hands; Considering the reflex of an average person and that of a housefly, it works very well to position your palms about 6-8 inches over the fly. Keep a distance of atleast a feet between your open palms.
4) Now with a swift motion, clap your palms together. This works better than trying to directly smack a fly.
NOTE: The reason this works is because a fly reacts to a threat by simply flying away, and when you approach a fly from two sides it gets confused.

If you do not want to get your hands dirty, the following two techniques might help-

-Surface - towel approach
1) Take a bath towel, make sure that the one you choose is not very bulky. A light turkey towel is a good choice for this.
2) Hold both the ends of the towel together by scrunching them up. Again wait for the fly to settle on a horizontal surface.
3) Approach the fly cautiously and when you are 3-4 feet away, slap the towel on the fly.
4) Work on your timing and the smacking speed if you don't get it right first time.

-Mid-air smack approach
1) Take a bath towel, make sure that the one you choose is not very bulky.
2) Fold the towel in half and hold it in your dominant hand. Wait for the fly to fly away from you.
3) Swing the towel at the fly swiftly. Watch your swing speed.
4) Work on your timing and speed if you don't get it right first time.

-No blood approach
I tried this and am happy to say that it worked real fine. The initial steps are the same;
1) Wait for the fly to settle down on a plain surface.
2) Take a glass tumbler, preferrably a long and thick one and approach the fly cautiously. Watch the fly closely, and when its relaxed, very swiftly place the hollow side of the tumbler on the fly.
3) The fly is stuck inside the glass, wait for the fly to be near the top of the glass.
4) Now swiftly slide the tumbler on to a plate so that the plate seals the open end of the tumbler. 5) Release the fly outside your house.

I read somewhere that you can try catching a fly with your bare hands as well. You have to approach the fly and place both of your palms about six inches above the fly. Keep your palms about two feet apart and when the fly moves away, cup your hands. With good practice, you might get the fly inside your hands. Now shake your cupped palms vigorously and then release the fly outside. Chances are the fly will never return and if you are lucky might even tell its buddies not to approach you.

All this requires a lot of concentration, and can be very frustrating. But once you get it right, it is very rewarding.